Every week, doing Q&As I hear “what about fear of failure, fear of disappointment, fear of not being good enough, fear of not being accepted.” Well, what about it?
All of this can leave us panicked and uncertain in our path ahead, which typically builds more FEAR and ANXIETY. There is a root cause here at LOSS OF CONTROL, or more honestly the “loss of the idea of control.”
These outside factors as to why you can’t do something can grow enormous and overwhelm the desire to try.
But it’s with the trying and experience that you slowly chip away at all the false narratives in your head. We all have different childhoods, work situations, and relationships that can seemingly start adding to why you can or can’t do things as well.
The FEAR to try is the one I want to focus on. Without continuing to try new things, we are not expanding our personal horizon of knowledge. The personal experience is one to call on to eliminate anxiety and manage it. It’s not as simple as I did before.
What if you “failed”? Well that means you tried and didn’t die. The real question is, “what did you learn?” No matter what you place as the FEAR of why not to try something you’re interested in comes down to letting yourself down or the idea that you’re letting others down.
What will they think about me?
They will know I’m not good enough.
I knew I wasn’t good enough.
All of these are attached to the end result of trying and not the adventure of gaining experience and knowledge from trying new things. This is the real key to building confidence and eliminating that fear.
You have to continue to CHOOSE the fear and walk toward it. This exposure teaches you who you are. You can do more. You can figure it out. Remember that all feelings and things you have are temporary and in time, the fear will subside. The more barriers you choose to put up that’s keeping you in a prison of comfort is on you. Deciding to listen and trust fear is under your control.
Choose anything you’re scared of - from committing to reading everyday to walking outside more to changing jobs to ending relationships. These are all skills gained with experience.
Stop letting FEAR keep you stationary. Let go of the expectations of your attempt halt your progress. Continue to press forward and challenge yourself. Stay sharp. Stay challenged and abandon comfort by choice.
Here we go.